What it’s like to foster for the first time

This Foster Care Fortnight, we are shining a light on what it’s like to foster for the first time. 

Newly approved foster carers, Keri and Loren Masters, live in Dorset, along with their two birth children, Reggie (age 11) and Lucy (age 14), and their three dogs.  

The couple welcomed their first foster child into their home in October last year, marking the beginning of a transformative journey for him, and for them.  

The Decision to Foster  

Loren suggested fostering to Keri in 2018 after their attempts at IVF were unsuccessful. Loren felt strongly that they were both great with young people in different ways and that they had a lot to offer.  

“Keri was a teaching assistant with the right skills, and I had a difficult childhood which has really pushed me to want to help others in a similar situation”, said Loren, “We wanted to provide safety and love to a child in need, and initially, I didn't realise fostering was something you got paid for doing. For us, it was about helping children at a time when they need it most and making a difference."  

The Application Process  

The couple's journey began with an enquiry on the Foster with Dorset Council website, followed by a home visit and an in-depth application process.  

“When the fostering team came to meet us at our home, we were both so excited. We really felt this could be the beginning of something positive,” Keri recalls, “We were nervous and probably asked over 1,000 questions, running through every scenario we could imagine, but our assessing social worker was lovely. The application process is in-depth and personal, and you must be willing to be vulnerable, but we built such a connection with our social worker, and it became like having a friend round for a coffee.”  

Loren was diagnosed with autism in her late teens and experienced a lot of childhood trauma. She struggled in school and with friendships and relationships. “I was worried I would be the one to let our application fail, but our assessing social worker was really encouraging,” said Loren, “Our social worker highlighted that I would be able to pull on my own experiences and put that into being an empathetic foster carer.”  

Involving Their Family

Keri and Loren's birth children were fully involved in the fostering process. The children have been excellent role models, helping to explain family rules and social expectations and they were very excited to welcome another child into their home.  

“They understand how fortunate they are and were excited to welcome someone into our home," says Keri. “When we were getting the spare bedroom ready and decorated, we’d often find toys that our children had left on the bed that they hoped a child coming to live with us would enjoy,” adds Loren. The couple involved their children in their decision and made sure that they both understood what the reality of fostering would be like.  

Welcoming Liam into Their Home  

The couple met Liam the day before he moved in as he was staying with another foster carer who lived nearby. It gave them a chance to informally meet him and get a feel for what his needs might be. This visit was exciting and daunting in equal measure, but the couple remained positive that it was the right decision for them.  

To ease his moving in day, they arranged an icebreaker at the park, before heading to their family home. “He was excited about his room and loved having his own space”, Loren shares. “He’d never owned his own hairbrush or wardrobe before. For him, these things were important.”  

Challenges and Triumphs  

The couple faced initial challenges, including Liam’s reluctance to try healthy food, negative self-talk, and difficulties with clothing due to overstimulation. Through patience and understanding, they have seen significant improvements, and he’s settled into their family well.  

Liam has shown remarkable progress since living with the couple. “The positive changes haven’t just been noticed by us. They've been noticed by his parents, his siblings, and all the professionals that have worked with him for several years. They have all said how well-regulated he is. He’s happy and he's calm,” Keri notes. “You can tell that he has a sense of safety and security and that he enjoys living here. He loves the steady routine we’ve established, and he can manage transitions much more easily.”  

Loren adds, “The biggest moment for me has been watching him embrace school. I just couldn’t be prouder. He loves school and has proved every professional wrong. He absorbs so much information and has learnt such a lot in a short time. Watching him walk out of school with a massive smile on his face, making new friends, and being invited to birthday parties for the first time is amazing to see. His teacher has been brilliant, and he really loves being there.”  

Advice for Aspiring Foster Carers  

Keri emphasises the importance of patience, love, and offering support when becoming a foster carer. “Nothing happens overnight. Being able to offer love and a lot of support is important. Being able to look for the positives, even small ones, as every day brings new positives,” she says. Loren highlights the value of understanding and consistency. "Using your own experiences can help you become an empathetic foster carer.”  

A Rewarding Experience  

Reflecting on their journey, Keri and Loren are proud of the positive impact fostering has had on their family and the child they’re looking after. "We went into fostering expecting to offer shorter term homes to children that need it, but we are now open to providing a longer-term home for Liam, if that's what's best for him and what he wants," Loren concludes. "We're really glad we made the decision to foster." 

Could you foster with Dorset Council? 

Dorset Council needs more foster carers, especially for teenagers, sibling groups and children with special educational needs and disabilities. Fostering can be incredibly rewarding, and we welcome applications from people from all walks of life. Your gender, sexual orientation or relationship, employment or homeowner status does not affect your eligibility. The important thing is that you want to make a difference.   

When you foster with Dorset Council you will have an entire team around you for support, as well as access to Dorset’s experienced fostering community. You will also receive regular training and weekly payments.  

Visit the Foster with Dorset Council website to learn more or visit the events page to attend an online or in-person information session and meet the team.